connections

3 Habits That Can Change Your Potential

As a little girl, I was fascinated by a brass statue positioned on my father’s bookshelf. This statue was comprised of three monkeys sitting next to one another – one had his hands over his eyes, one with his hands over his mouth, and the third placing his hands over his ears.

My father explained that these three monkeys were called “the Wise Monkeys,” and represented the old saying, “See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.” They were a reminder to conduct ourselves wisely and appropriately.

This sounded rather virtuous. I was satisfied with this explanation as one that was a directive as to how to be a good person. Indeed, I still believe this.

However, I later discovered that this same adage, teased out in modern application, is actually a hidden key to succeeding – or failing – in one’s leadership.

The three original wise monkeys, along with a later-emerging fourth, hold the key to succeeding – or failing – in one’s leadership growth.

Here’s a quick check-in to see where you might want to up-level the way you currently lead:

1. Mizaru – see no evil – or, use a better lens!

• What are you reading or watching?

Everything you put into your brain influences your thought patterns and focus. Are you feeding your brain with material that educates and provokes to help you grow, or are you binge-watching B-roll or reading cheesy novels?

• What assumptions do you make as you observe others?

Are you making assumptions of others based on partial information, or are you asking the question, “What else might be part of the picture that I do not see?”  Do the homework.

• What lens do you use as you approach the world?

Are you stopping at the facts in front of you, or do you seek to make connections, using deeper-level thought processes? In other words, are you simply taking in facts without asking yourself how these facts affect you, others, and the world? Expanding your leadership means making these important connections.

 

2. Kikazaru – hear no evil – or, don’t listen to junk.

• Do you quietly stew over past criticisms received?

High-performing leaders consider the source and either make necessary shifts to change, or discard the information as invalid and not useful. Stewing is repeating the same thoughts over and over again, and takes up valuable brain space. Stop stewing – do something about it.

• Do you receive gratification from listening to gossip or bad news?

If you are, this is a bad sign that your leadership is predicated on seeing others’ failure as your success. If you think you are right all the time, you are wrong. And if others continue to tell you that you are always right, your leadership is either based on the fear of others, or you are working in an unhealthy, sub-par culture that allows this.

• Do you consider your sources as you listen to what is happening in your organization, in the world?

I’m continuously shocked at how highly-intelligent professionals will make assumptions and decisions based on poor or impartial information. This has consequences. Enough said.

 

3. Iwazaru – speak no evil – or, stop the perpetuation of rubbish.

• Who do you say you are to yourself?

What stories are you holding on to, that keep you from stepping into better leadership? Are you harboring any negative self-talk, no matter how seemingly insignificant? Are you secretly in a stagnant comfort zone because what has worked before should still continue to work now? Think, again. Things are changing rapidly, and continuing to work on your personal leadership is required to stay professionally viable.

• How are you connecting with others through conversation?

Are you taking the time to connect personally to strengthen relationships and get things done? Or are you using e-mail and texting as quick fixes to move ahead? If you sense you are out of touch with your colleagues and reports, it’s time to re-establish connections through thoughtful, eye-to-eye conversations – the only way to establishing empathy and trust. Looking to better your relationships, influence and followership? This is the first step.

• How are you using social media?

This may seem a superficial question for today’s topic, but it’s really key. What are you messaging? What are you sharing? What does this say about you? I recently began work with an executive preparing for a vice-presidential position in her company. Guess what I asked her to clean up first? That’s right. It was actually shocking to her to look back and see what she had “liked” and forwarded. What do your social media messages say about you?

 

4. Shizaru – do no evil – or, do good!

• Your habits are what make or break you.

Which one is holding you back? Lack of exercise or balance? Procrastination? Avoiding conflict? Neglecting significant relationships? Take a careful assessment of your work and life and (1) ask where you could be further ahead; and (2) what you are doing that is keeping you from moving forward. You’ll identify the habit or behavior right there.

• You are the composite of your current relationships and associations.

Take a survey. Who do you aspire to be? Get that image locked firmly in your mind. Then, ask yourself who the 5-10 people are, with whom you surround yourself (with whom you have the most contact)? Are these people “there” with where you want to be in morals, values, lifestyle, habits, and focus? What relationship needs to change, and when will it be important enough for you to make it so?

• What legacy are you creating?

The way you lead and the work you contribute are no doubt positive. But when was the last time you really thought about this, and actually tried to measure the impact of your leadership and professional contributions? Select 1-2 trusted associates or mentors and ask the question. The answer may not be readily apparent in the initial conversation, but the exercise is really to help you refocus on the end goal. Why do you do what you do?

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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.