Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

business growth

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

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The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror
Image Credit: Depositphotos

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

  1. Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
  2. Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
  3. Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
  4. Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Redefining Success: Aligning Your Leadership Role with Personal Fulfillment

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Redefining Success: Aligning Your Leadership Role with Personal Fulfillment
Image Credit: Depositphotos

It’s been a rough four years. No matter where you stand with the events of today’s world, we have experienced unprecedented challenges.

And it has taken its toll.

More business leaders are leaving their roles than at any other time in our lifetime (McKinsey, Forbes). And that echoes the sentiment I am hearing from so many of you. It’s no longer enough for you to weather the proverbial storms in order to reach organizational goals. It’s not enough to persevere in hiring and retaining the right talent to do the job. It’s not enough to feel as though you averted another crisis, completed another long day, and made it through yet another challenge.

On a scale of 1-5, how fulfilled are you as a leader? In your work? Your life?

Perhaps it is time to redefine success.

In the past, success has often been defined by career achievements. But over the last four years, as we have faced unmatched crises and a new and seemingly foreign business landscape, this definition has fallen short. Business leaders are asking for more…not more money, not more opportunities, but for more personal fulfillment. They seek more ease in leading – and more of a personal reward for filling those big shoes.

The fact is, personal fulfillment doesn’t come from occasional exotic trips or long weekends to regroup and re-energize. True fulfillment encompasses both professional and personal aspects of life.

It doesn’t have to be this hard.

And lest you think that this is soft stuff, allow me to make a business case for your personal fulfillment.

Some outcomes from leaders who embrace this include positive energy and motivation, role modeling, improved communication, better decision-making, increased resilience, more empathy and understanding, positive culture, and higher employee retention. The list is significant.

James, CEO and founder of a tech company, had lost his motivation and energy despite his company’s growth and success.

“There’s no excitement in leading anymore,” he shared. “We reach goals, or we don’t – and the alarming thing is, I’m beginning not to care.”

James claimed an overwhelming workload and a constant pressure to perform. But after exploring this in depth with him, the real issue became apparent: there was a lack of alignment between his professional achievements and his personal values.

Digging deeper, I discovered that James’ definition of success was narrowly focused on business metrics, without having defined first his vision of personal fulfillment.

Further, after conducting a comprehensive assessment, it was clear that James did not know how to tap into his top strengths for energy, and his approach conflicted with his top values – a recipe for burnout.

This called for a coaching intervention to help James develop a new definition of success incorporating personal happiness and wellbeing alongside professional achievements.

The Jumpstart

As so many of my clients appreciate, we met for an initial two-day jumpstart away from the office to fast-track the process. This was helpful in elevating James’ sense of hope, energy, clarity, and direction. It was necessary to define James’ values, personal mission and vision before moving on to the business.

This is a key factor that is often missed and, if not done well, can create chronic conflict in the leadership experience. We redefined James’ strengths, as he had taken multiple assessments over time, some of which were not reliable and others which were limited in scope (note to the reader: assessments are not apples and apples – beware!) During that initial two days, we also created a strategic plan to align his daily activities and long-term goals with his newly defined success criteria. This plan addressed both his business leadership and life.

The Deep Dive

With this as our GPS, we then coached over the next year. This is deep and transformational work, including shifting habits and approaches formed over years of time, reshaping the stories that James told himself to open up more potential, and removing roadblocks and triggers that had previously held him in place.

The Result

James’ enthusiasm and joy of leading was re-energized. This had a cascade effect on his executive team and on the company, since a leader’s influence is significant on culture and outcomes. Some of the results for his company included increased productivity, better work-life balance, improved team morale, and overall business growth.

What about you? What is your personal definition of success?

Does it include both career achievements and personal fulfillment? Are you aligned in your values and tapping into your top strengths daily as you lead?

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?

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Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Most often, great new talent will fail, not because they are incompetent, but because they are what we call a “poor cultural fit.”

Such “poor fits” usually don’t last more than 12-18 months. It’s a big loss for the organization and the executive, both in morale and in the investment of money and time.

But more often than not, what is labeled as “poor cultural fit” is really a lack of situational awareness.

Is your new executive a poor fit? Or simply situationally unaware?

When Chris called me, she was completely demoralized.

“Patti, I have an excellent team. We’ve been through crisis and change and are even stronger than before. But I’m incredibly disappointed about my newest hire, Stan. He was the most promising talent when we onboarded him. And what a track record! But he’s not connecting the dots here at the company. He keeps missing the mark. He’s just an incredibly poor fit with our culture!”

“Chris, what are you seeing that tells you he’s a poor fit?”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to grasp the organizational structure when he makes decisions. The other day, he rode right over my top project manager to fast-track one of his initiatives. And even though we approach decision-making in a democratic fashion, he continues to call the shots on things in which he should include others. I guess I’ve hired a racehorse that doesn’t belong here.”

“Chris, is he willful or stubborn? In other words, is he trying to show off?”

“No, Patti – he truly just seems to operate differently, the way I described. Is there anything I can do?”

“I actually think there is, Chris. If my hunch is correct, Stan lacks situational awareness.”

“Explain, please,” answered Chris.

“Stan may simply need to develop a better lens in reading the social and political currents of the organization. Right now, it sounds as though he doesn’t have a good read on your organizational norms – the way you do things there. And he may also not understand the power relationships and how they work at the company.”

“Whatever it is, please help,” said Chris. “The other team members are distrustful of Stan, and his seasoned reports are shutting down.”

Chris arranged for me to meet Stan the next week. I felt sorry for him. He realized he was making mistakes and had become frustrated.

“I’m finding it very difficult to get things done here, Patti,” he said. “I’ve been handed some aggressive goals. and I see what’s possible. But I seem to keep treading on people’s toes, and there are obviously some unspoken rules around here. I’m lost.”

Stan and I talked a bit about his onboarding process.

“Truthfully, I was welcomed at a strategic planning retreat and met all my colleagues. I have meant to get around to meeting each one, learning more about what they do, how things work. But we have some time-sensitive goals, and they are pretty challenging. So, I’ve gotten to know them only through our interactions in team meetings. And, of course, I have a copy of the strategic plan with responsibilities assigned.”

“Who is mentoring you in this first phase of your employment?” I asked.

“Mentoring? No one. Chris says she’s available for any questions. But she’s pretty busy. I’m just pushing through this as best I can. But I’m really not making friends.”

I sat with Chris later and shared my thoughts.

“You have a bright executive. And he’s willing. He knows he’s in trouble. The challenge here is that he doesn’t have someone to walk him through the political and social networks he needs to know in order to get things done.”

“I’ve been pretty busy,” Chris admitted. “He does come in and ask questions from time to time. We talked through his responsibilities with the strategic plan. What else can I do?”

“Have you identified key stakeholders for each of his initiatives and introduced him to them?”

“No,” Chris answered slowly.

“Have you walked through your decision-making process here at the company?” I asked.

“No,” she said. Her shoulders drooped. “Wow. I’ve really messed up this onboarding, haven’t I? I’ve actually set him up for failure.”

“It’s not too late,” I countered. “Let’s sit with him and get a plan together. I don’t think you need to bear the full responsibility of this – but it needs to be orchestrated. I have some ideas.”

A few weeks later, Stan called me to thank me.

“What a difference,” he said. Taking the time to talk through how things work around here, how people get things done – invaluable. Having a couple of colleague mentors to help bounce things off of before I press a button – what a change. I just wanted to thank you.”

“Stan, I’m glad it’s working out,” I said. “You have a lot of contribute.”

“You know, Patti, I guess I should have asked Chris to help me come up with such a strategy. It never occurred to me since I had never encountered such a problem elsewhere. But – lesson learned.”

Lesson learned is exactly what Chris said later, as well.

“We all have our growing edges, Chris,” I said. “You have pushed through another one. You are on your way.”

What about you? Do you have an executive who finds it hard to get the work done?

Do they tread on others’ toes? Are they having trouble connecting the dots? It will be well worth your time to sit with your team member to explore where the gaps are. And be prepared because you may discover that one of the gaps is you.

In addition to resolving the issue, it could be a great opportunity for leadership growth at many levels, including your own.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

The Untapped Potential of Your Middle Management

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health
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You can quickly improve the organizational health of your company by focusing on the potential of your middle management.

But if your culture doesn’t recognize this as important, you are headed for trouble.

How do you redirect so that you strengthen your future?

Three steps.

  • Make leadership development a high priority.
  • Know how to develop your emerging leaders.
  • Address prickly roadblocks that stand in the way.

Following are three real scenarios from former clients.

I hope these help you to see where you might improve your own process and mindset.

1. Make leadership development a high priority for your organization.

Tom had led the company for years, and it had done well. Then, he was diagnosed with a heart problem. Although the prognosis for recovery was excellent, his doctor informed him that he would have to take off a considerable amount of time in order to work a wellness program.

The company was in a bind when Tom called me. He had never gotten around to putting a system and process in place to develop those high potentials who might have stepped in to help bridge the gap.

Now what?

If he left to care for his health, the business would be in trouble. If he didn’t, he would seriously jeopardize his health.

Tom and I worked together on an interim plan to support his absence, and a way to stay in communication with him on the large-picture items.

I then coached his executives to the plan as they stepped into the new responsibilities assigned to them. I also helped coach them as a team on a regular basis to keep things cohesive and smooth.

However, this was challenging. The executives all experienced steep learning curves, with corresponding bumps in the road, which presented some tense moments. We worked through it, and Tom was able to return some time later. Quite happy that we moved through this critical time, I shared with Tom that the company could have experienced a much smoother and more effective transition, had he worked with his HR department to implement an ongoing plan for leadership development.

2. Know how to develop your emerging leaders.

Rebecca ran a tight ship. She, along with her executive team, believed fully in leadership development, and they approved large budgets year after year to support succession planning. But they were not seeing the results they wanted.

Rebecca intuited that the talent was there – why weren’t those programs working for them? They were on the cusp of cutting the entire budget for learning and development. Meanwhile, some of her best middle managers were voicing complaints that they were not moving up the leadership ladder. Engagement was waning.

When Rebecca called, she said she was only calling because another CEO colleague had pressed her to do so. “I’m ready to bag investing in leadership development,” she said. “I’m only reaching out because Tim says you get results.”

After exploring what she and the team had implemented, I congratulated her on placing development as a priority. I also pointed out that the programs in which she had invested were not carefully customized to her company, its culture, and its needs.

We did wind up working together and I am happy to report that we turned things around by identifying development initiatives that would support organizational goals, a way to support growth ongoing, and systems and processes to undergird this. I’m just sorry we had to work hard to reanimate engagement because of prior wasted efforts.

3. Address prickly roadblocks that stand in the way of leadership developments.

Mark had been waiting in the wings for years for Jack, the seasoned CEO to finally retire. Jack allowed him to run daily operations and to field the heat that comes with leading a business.

There was one problem, however: Jack also kept Mark and the executive team from truly stepping into their own power to improve organizational health.

He would run interference when Mark attempted to hold employees accountable.  He would halt Mark from moving forward with initiatives that would keep the company highly competitive because, Jack said, “We have never done that, before.” Mark was quietly seeking another leadership position elsewhere – and so were some of his best executives.

This scenario was tricky. It was actually Mark who called me and not Jack. “What am I doing wrong?” he asked. “I’ve been here forever. I keep the company running, but I’m not empowered. I deal with problems that Jack creates because he keeps ‘pets’ around that shouldn’t be here – some even subversive to the organization.”

I worked with Mark to confront Jack about some of the decisions that he was not allowing Mark to implement, which compromised the business. Unfortunately, Jack did not want to listen.

Jack was afraid of retirement, and so he sat in his office and continued to collect the incredible salary and bonus he had enjoyed for more than 20 years.

Mark decided to leave and assumed the CEO spot at a new company. It’s been my pleasure to work with him there to develop a high-performing team. Mark’s only regret is that he didn’t move sooner. “I wasted a lot of years waiting,” he said. “It could have been different.”

Each of these cases could have been avoided. Good leaders are not born knowing how to prize and approach leadership development in a way that benefits them and their company.

How could stronger leadership at the middle management level improve your organizational health?

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Five Steps to Charter Team Values

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Five Steps to Charter Team Values
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Are you and your colleagues living up to your team’s core values?

Core values serve as a GPS to shape culture, drive better decisions, and sharpen best behaviors and attitudes.

Sadly, most don’t understand why they need core values at the team level, nor how to use these to move from average to high performance.

How do team core values differ from organizational core values? And how do you make your team’s values come alive?

I work primarily with leaders and their executive teams who are ready to either merge, realign, or grow. They know they need to improve the way they work together in order to tackle new vistas.

Part of the work I do is help the team create its own identity, establish a safe psychological space in which to work and play, and recognize its personal team power. These three factors are what go into creating a highly emotionally-intelligent team – one which outperforms others.

Without getting into the weeds in this article, part of the work we do together to accomplish this involves creating a team charter – a set of operating rules that the team creates together, and which are based on its core values. In other words, we define the attitudes, behaviors, and ways of doing that reflect the team’s values.

For example, if a team’s core values include honesty, the charter might define what honest conversation looks like, what honesty looks like in the face of conflict, etc.

Chartering your team’s core values in this way makes them come alive. It is powerful and serves as the foundation of your team culture.

What is important to remember as you develop active core values?

Here are five steps to keep in mind.

  1. Develop your values with full team participation.

Every person on the team needs to be involved in the process of defining your values. This creates buy-in and ownership. Do you have someone who is reticent to participate or to speak up? Make sure you include them and let them know their weigh-in is important.

  1. Hold a discussion with your team on what these values mean for you.

It is not enough to pick a word to represent each value – you collectively need to come up with a definition that reflects what you mean by that word choice. Craft together two or three sentences that expand on the value’s meaning until you feel it reflects clear definition to the team.

  1. Identify attitudes and behaviors that support these values.

Take some time to talk about how you should relate to each other (and other teams) in light of your values. If one of your values is integrity, what kinds of attitudes and behaviors reflect this? What needs to change in order for you to fully embody each value?

  1. Assess your systems, processes, and protocols to ensure these support your values.

Do a review of these to see if they support your values. What changes need to take place in order to have these align with your values? This is truly systematizing a team culture.

  1. Accountability as a way to fully integrate your values.

How will you hold yourself and others accountable for the way you embody your charter? I suggest you define this, and then do a spot check-in at least once monthly. Be candid in rating the team – and if you are courageous, ask an external stakeholder to review your values, their definitions, and to share with you any gaps or growth opportunities they see in the way your team lives these.

Are you and your colleagues living up to your team values? Where do you need to start?

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.