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Reset, Reboot, Relaunch – It’s All About 2021

December 23, 2020 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

As 2020 comes to a close, it is natural for many to feel hopeful about 2021. We now have a promising vaccine in response to the COVID-19 virus which has, for the majority of the year, dictated how we redirect and lead our lives. We have had a tense Presidential election with significant emotions surrounding the process and the event. Other local, national, and world events have added to this stress.

It is only natural that, coming to year-end, people are reflecting on renewal and relaunching their lives. Whether you are a fan or not of New Year’s resolutions, most all of us hope to enjoy a more positive and enjoyable 2021.

Part of a “great reset” involves three steps:

Reflection. A reflection on what went well. What were your accomplishments? For what would you like to congratulate yourself? What did not work well? For example, if you found a creative way to strike work-life balance, this is a win to be congratulated. If you made the commitment to exercise five times weekly and did not meet this, flag this as something that did not work well. Write these wins and losses down.
Learning. What lessons have you learned after reflecting on the wins and losses that you have listed? Perhaps you decided to turn off your computer at a certain time each day so that you could turn to your family and respect the work-life balance you created. As a result, the learning might be that putting a structure in place such as specified work hours helps support your goals. And in the case of missing the mark with your commitment to exercise, what did you learn there? It may be that you didn’t leave room in your schedule, or that you didn’t identify what kind of exercise might work for you.
Commitments. After listing what you have learned, identify what commitments you want to make to yourself going forward. What do you want to bring forward into the new year, and what do you want to leave behind? Again, using our examples, if your learning is that you want to continue structuring time or being more specific for important goals and priorities, how can you apply this to your goals for 2021?

This is a fruitful exercise, and my executive clients find that it helps them stay sharp in their decision-making and execution moving forward.

However, when it comes to leaving behind those things that they have identified as no longer serving them, it becomes challenging to let go.

Why is this?

We human beings are wired for comfort. This means that we also carry a natural inclination to resist change. It is hard to leave the perch! The first step is deciding how you want to leave behind those things that are no longer useful.

Consider the following three choices as you ponder how to streamline and improve your new year.

1. Release

Let it go. As you look back at 2020, what can you let go without remorse or anguish?

Generally, the kinds of things that respond well to release are low-stakes commitments, decisions, or relationships. Often, they come disguised as enjoyable or previously more important, but upon closer inspection, they may now keep you from having the energy and time you might need for greater or more relevant things. What things might you be holding onto out of habit that should be eliminated from your life or work?

2. Reframe

Look at the situation differently. Reframing calls on us to take a different perspective about a situation or person.

An example might be that you have been seeing a particular situation as irritating, or a person as prickly and thus someone to be avoided. Taking a posture to reframe means attempting to “find the gold” or different aspects of that situation which may lend to you feeling better about it.

This is often adopted when the stakes are higher. What have you been putting up with experiencing this year that you feel you need to see a different way? Where in your life or work might you benefit from greater tolerance, compassion, or appreciation of the larger picture?

3. Reconcile

Bring resolution to the problem.

Notice that the previous steps of releasing and reframing require only action on your part. Reconciliation, however, generally requires two or more people (or two or more parts of yourself!) to work.

We generally seek to reconcile when stakes are high, when we want to save the situation or relationship. This will require a negotiation of sorts. At the very least, it will necessitate a revisit of the situation you deem needs reconciling, a conversation, and a shared agreement to resolve the situation. Sometimes, it requires that we also forgive either the other person or ourselves in order to feel that all is safely put to rest.

As you reflect on this year, and on rebooting life and work to make it even more meaningful and rewarding in the coming new season, what do you need to celebrate? And what do you need to leave behind?

I challenge you to stretch and take the steps to intentionally embrace 2021.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How to Prepare for Unexpected Change

November 6, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Change is inevitable. As the world changes, so we must adapt. When you lead, this means change management on a large scale. When you aren’t in charge, it means that you must know what to anticipate so that you can lower your own stress and support your team through the process.

How do you plan for change, even if it’s unexpected?

Understanding the four stages of change will help you to meet it proactively so that you can avoid pitfall and accelerate positive outcomes.

The Change Curve – the Four Stages of Change

The Change Curve is a popular model that explains how organizations and people move through change. It’s helpful to understand so that you can help lead change – whether or not you are in charge. There are many variations of this, but we think that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, well-known for her work on personal transitions with grief and bereavement, was the originator of the concept.

The Change Curve outlines four stages that people experience as they adjust and adapt to change. I’ve placed recommendations behind each of these to share how you can develop a framework for a change plan if and when change must occur.

Stage 1. Shock and Denial.

This is a time to reinforce trust. Keep the vision and mission in front and reinforce stability. Exhibit authenticity through open and timely communication throughout all levels of the business. The communications need to share what the change is, why it is needed, and the benefits to this. Share what you do know and what you don’t know. Built trust through sharing how and when they can anticipate more answers as you know them.

When you are in charge, you will want to make sure that these communications are shared in a timely way with your team, and that you allow time for questions and discussion. Be transparent by identifying those answers you don’t have, rather than trying to come up with a slick answer. Keep your door open. Remind them that change is constant, and that you are confident you and the team can work through this.

When someone else is in charge, be authentic through asking your questions during the group’s meeting time instead of doing this in corners outside the meeting. This keeps the team intact and allows all to benefit from discussing the topic and learning from it. Decide that you can use this change to showcase your knowledge and skills, and that if some of those are not yet learned, that this is an opportunity to do so.

Stage 2. Reactions and Resistance.

Understand that the threat of change can be real. People will wonder how they need to shift or change their way of working in order to remain effective. And some may even fear losing their position. This is a time when you will want to draw from empathy and compassion as performance may dip temporarily. Put yourself in the shoes of others and be tough on issues, tender on people.

When you are in charge, encourage your people by touching base more frequently with them, asking how you can help. Remember that as people struggle to adapt, they may exhibit additional stress in different ways. Stay focused on the issue and not the personality as you manage this.

When someone else is in charge, check your attitude. Keep the bigger picture in mind and support your colleagues through positive thoughts and language. If someone appears to have a rough moment or day, ask if you can help, rather than to avoid them.

Stage 3. Turning Point to Acceptance.

Change requires courage and humility. Taking on new ways of operating together, of performing work means making mistakes and pushing through until success is met.

When you are in charge, admit that mistakes will be made and that this is a time of learning. Show your courage and humility by sharing a bit of how you are learning as well. Continue to communicate frequently and to acknowledge wins and positive behaviors in the team.

When someone else is in charge, recall how you have successfully moved through change in the past and hold realistic expectations for your learning. Ask your leader how you are doing and check in as you need to in order to get a pulse on anything you need to do differently at this stage.

Stage 4. Embracing and Managing Change.

Motivation is key here (and of course, it is key all through the four stages!). Acknowledging wins and linking these wins to results needs to be stressed. As people master new ways of doing and operating individually and together, these culture shifts in mindset and behaviors can falter under stress. Sharing incremental wins and the results they engender is key.

When you are in charge, recognition is key here. Any incremental wins, results, in behaviors such as heightened teamwork, performance, mastery of a skill or effective problem-solving is fair game for celebration. Share these celebrations with your team as a way to motivate them and move them forward.

When someone else is in charge, pat yourself on the back as you master a step in a new process or way of doing. As you notice the positive aspects of working together on projects or initiatives, recognize this and acknowledge it to those involved. Celebrate to reinforce and motivate yourself and others.

Change can be challenging, but change can be exciting. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and to celebrate this. It can provide career opportunities, help the business to make greater impact on community and society. Making change should always mean making things better. Approaching this in a proactive way is always much more rewarding.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Building Your Emotional Intelligence with the Follow-up Question

May 15, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Like any other key decision-maker, your responsibilities require that you make hundreds of decisions daily. This means you have developed a quick and effective way of getting to the bottom of things (for a quick review on how to make better decisions, read “When Stakes Are High: How to Make Better Decisions”).

There are two reasons, however, that we ask questions – learning (information exchange) and liking (impression management). And overlooking the follow-up question may mean we miss capitalizing on both – and thus lose out on some important emotional intelligence skill-building.

What does emotional intelligence have to do with the follow-up question? And how do you harness the power of this?

Many important tenets of emotional intelligence have to do with relationship management – both with people and with the organization. Some examples of these skills are: empathy, perspective taking, catalyzing change, building bonds and trust, and creating and strengthening team.

If you make time to ask follow-up questions in your conversations and discussions, you strengthen these skills:

1. You gather additional information, fostering your ability to “see” a bigger picture, and the opportunity to widen the scope of your thinking through diverse perspectives; and

2. You demonstrate a willingness to listen to the other person in the conversation, showing active interest in connecting, with the intent to foster open dialogue and to consider new perspectives.

So, what is a powerful follow-up question?

First, the term follow-up is just what it implies – it’s a question that comes after another question.

Second, there are follow-up questions – and follow-up questions. By this, I mean that some are simply a means to an end, and others are door-openers. And it’s the door-openers that are powerful.

What are the traits of powerful follow-up questions?

1. Open-ended. Make sure your question is not a disguised opinion or judgment. For example, if your question starts out with the phrase, “Don’t you think that..,” please refrain. Otherwise, you will have cut off creative conversation and the opportunity to appreciate and acknowledge the perspectives of others.

2. Begin with the word “what” or “how,” rather than “why.” The word “why” is associated with giving an answer to defend one’s position (e.g., “Why did you do that?” “Why did this happen?”). Instead, begin with something like, “Tell me more,” “What’s behind that?” or “How might that work?” This supports open dialogue.

3. Be genuine with the intent to listen and learn. Don’t ask questions unless you are ready to do so – people can spot inauthenticity a mile away, and your efforts will backfire. Part of vibrant leadership is being willing to stretch and grow.

The next time you are brainstorming with others, take the time to ask that second “follow-up” question at various points of your discussion. You’ll reap the benefits of more information, greater participation by others, and connections at a deeper level that foster strong relationships and team.

(Gratitude to Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John for the inspiration of their article, “The Surprising Power of Questions,” Harvard Business Review, May-June 2018 issue.)

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.