When You’ve Lost Your Way

Rediscovering the True North of Your Leadership

Leading in your life and work has its hazards. There is much to do – busy demands, managing much.

Sometimes, a talented professional has reached a certain modicum of success, but discovers that she has not reached her full potential – and she doesn’t really know why.

She feels stalled.

She has lost her leadership compass – her true north.

If you have ever reached this point, or you find yourself in a destructive or unethical pattern, feeling trapped and confused, be encouraged! There’s a way out.

I coach two kinds of female executives and professionals:  high achievers, and high potentials. They engage me because they have reached a certain success, and now they are ready for more.

Lately, women from both groups have been coming to me for help because they are stalled at some point in their career or in their outcomes. I call this situation a mid-life conflict, and it is the outcome of a sort of unwitting self-sabotage. This conflict happens when a talented individual works at such a fast and furious pace over time to produce exceptional results. By adopting this mode as a permanent way of “doing” to the point that she also adopts it as a permanent way of “being,” she becomes constantly reactive instead of responsive. As she isolates herself and hyper-focuses on only work, the demands keep coming. The goals continue to rise. Over time, this dynamic erodes her personal leadership and her sense of self – the unique qualities, traits, and values that helped her to rise above the crowd to succeed in the first place.

Sheila found herself in such a situation. During the early part of her leadership, she served as executive director for a large area of responsibility.

“I focused on my performance and how much I could achieve,” she shared. “It became addicting, and I sought greater and greater rewards. But getting noticed was most important to me, because I thought I had to run fast to get to the top. This frenzy took precedent over the money I was making. If I received recognition through hitting goals, it told me I was worthy as leadership material. So I kept pushing hard.”

“That must have been a tough and stressful road,” I said. “That kind of approach can help fast-track your success to a certain point, but then you usually hit a wall.”

“How did you know?” she asked, “I feel like I’ve boxed myself into a corner, and now I’m not performing as I have in the past. Additionally, I’m not sure I’ve made many friends of my colleagues. It’s pretty lonely up here. I was so busy rising to the top, and now, I’m not sure if I can redirect this mess. Sure, I can work on the way I approach things – but my professional credibility as an emerging leader may be lost.”

Sheila’s situation was not new. She is what Bill George and Andrew McLean would call a “shooting star.”  In their article, “Why Leaders Lose Their Way,” they discuss five perils of the leadership journey, and these ultimately result in failure.

A shooting star is one that lacks “the grounding of an integrated life” (George and McLean). Their career is everything to them, and they are always on the go to get ahead. Balance is not part of their lexicon, and family, friends, and community connections suffer. As they push forward, stress mounts, and with the ever-changing marketplace, they must continue running faster. This means their pace is so rapid that they don’t allow the bandwidth or time to learn from their mistakes, resulting in stalled leadership.

Can a shooting star turn this around? Yes.

The answer lies in re-grounding.

But re-grounding not a simple case of re-balancing. It’s not just changing your tactics, scheduling some vacation time, and doing some intensive power networking. If you find yourself in a place where your present success has cost you a great deal of your life, and perhaps your professional future, then you must first tap back into the who and why of your leadership.

Because leadership means taking the lead.

Leadership is not a role or function; it’s a mindset and an intentional approach to all you undertake, accompanied by the thoughts, behaviors, and actions that support taking charge.

And being in charge means knowing who you are and what you are about. At its best, it’s coming from a platform of integrity, coming from center, so that your impact is significant.

To see this, you first need to understand what makes your leadership unique – your Leadership DNA. This is a combination of your purpose supported by your values and your natural strengths as you take action.

Then, you need to relate this Leadership DNA to the vision of the enterprise and its bottom line. And you work it. You strengthen and exercise this Leadership DNA so that you are aligned and powerful in all you do, from your focus and your direction to the actions you take, the decisions you make, and the people you affect.

Coming back from a stall-out – or better yet, avoiding one and taking your leadership to the next level, requires that you can answer the following tough questions – and know how to flex and integrate these into your being.

1. Who are you as leader?
2. What is your purpose?
3. What values will you use as your compass?
4. What fuels your best work?
5. How does your Leadership DNA impact the organization and its bottom line?

Who are you as leader? What is your purpose?

Click over to our LinkedIn Community to share your response and join in the discussion.

 

Bill George and Andrew McLean. “Why Leaders Lose Their Way.”  Strategy and Leadership. Vol. 35, no. 3, 2007, pp. 4-11. Emerald Group Publishing Limited.

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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.